and Dylan C!!!!!!! present:
Yaradovich "Yar" Kramer - (Note: His first name is pronounced "yuh-RAD-oh-witch". The V is pronounced W.) The main character. He is a Neo-Samurai, and likes ice cream. He is junctioned to Ice for no readily apparent reason. (Real reason: I wanted him to be well-rounded with Tina's fire and Gary's lightning.) Somewhat goofy. Doesn't make very many friends.
Shigeru "Gary" Oak - He's actually very good friends with Yar. Except, of course, when there's the slightest chance that they'll go up against each other; in which case, they might have a mortal feud going back several generations. Still, he's someone who's great to have at your side. (Except when he wants to stick a knife in it.) He favors lightning-based materia, because it gives him an electric feeling. O_o Makes even fewer friends than Yar.
Tina Branford - She's unusual in that she is half-Esper. This is why she relies on Magicite. She apparently has fire for a natural ability. Has a somewhat tenuous friendship with Yar, and a definite dislike for Gary. However, she still has her unique point of view that comes from being so-called "not fully human", so her feelings aren't really active for either of them.
Fobby - She is, in fact, the alter-ego of Princess Celes. Dancer (see below) is magically disguised as Celes to be used as a decoy, and Celes disguises herself as Fobby. It is not known whether or not there really is someone named Fobby or not.
Celes Mysidia - Princess of the (rather large) kingdom of Mysidia. No, she isn't that Celes. She fulfils the necessary role of "cute female character" and seems to enjoy absurdist humor over everything else her world has to offer. She recieved the powers of a Sorceress when she was ten.
Kefka Palazzo - Court Jester for Mysidia. It's quite probable that he became one for the sole purpose of behaving as mean and nasty as he pleases without getting punished for it. In any event, he's extremely good at his job. He has a strange obsession with Magicite.
Dancer 132 - Celes's demure Reploid (intelligent robot) handmaiden. Actually, once you get past her affected shyness and the Three Laws of Robotics, she is every bit as spunky as Celes. She comes equipped with the latest in Reploid psychotechnology, and can therefore use Materia to a certain extent. Naturally, she prefers lightning, probably out of prudence.
Enerion Imusen - He's half-esper, and lives on an island that technically belongs to Mysidia. He's a recluse, and doesn't like to show up in public. Probably angsty over being so-called "not fully esper". Don't worry, he'll get over it once -- oops, spoiler.
Rock Light/Mega Man - He's a Reploid. At this point, nothing else is known about him, except that he was sent by the Author.
The Ultimate Guardian Force - The Author, of course. His first name is Dylan and his last initial is C.
Don Zhoa - He made an unholy alliance with an unholy being. He thinks it's going to end with the world getting taken over.
Darklumen - The real bad guy. He evidently wants to destroy the world, as opposed to just conquering it. His motive? Food.
Biggs Wedge - Biggs Wedge is the mandatory Bald Guy. He isn't quite as funny as Ozzel, most of the time, but he can certainly hold his own in a boffo contest. (A parody of the fact that in Final Fantasy, there are often two characters named Biggs and Wedge after two minor Star Wars characters.)
Ozzel Piett - He's the leader. He always seems to come up with the most ludicrous ways to twist around threats ("Our mission is to enjoy the fair at all costs!") and he manages to make everything in his work seem funny to everyone -- except the victim. (Named after two more Star Wars characters.)
Antilles "Ant" Darklighter - Relatively new to the Turks, he nevertheless has made a name for himself. Using a ray blaster, he can carve his signature in a target. This isn't really useful, except that if he fires it at a wall they need to knock down, it takes a few moments, allowing the Turks some time to run away. (Antilles and Darklighter are the last names of Wedge and Biggs, respectively.)
Vicks Darklighter - She is Ant's younger sister, but she ain't gonna let her age fool you! She actually rarely gives anyone enough time to underestimate her. She thinks that being one of the better Turks means she can be as cocky as she likes, and unfortunately she appears to be right on both counts. (And she parodies the fact that in every single SNES game Square made, the name "Biggs" got mistranslated as "Vicks".)
N. Harland Cid - The founder and head of the Neo-Samurai. He works there both as a captain and a personal instructor. Has for some reason taken it upon himself to take an interest in Yar Kramer and Shigeru Oak.
Alex Winhill - President of Galbadia. Keeps trying to sound Japanese, even though his grasp of the language, much less the culture, is just about the worst in existence.
Jass - Recently graduated from the Academy. A natural leader, who's somewhat adept at leading small groups.
Maria - Recently graduated from the Academy. Is usually in the small groups that Jass is in. Manages to "take it from here" when Jass gets incapaciated.
Drecker - A somewhat incompetent Neo-Samurai. Had a habit of hiding behind someone during combat. Finally broke this habit when Ifrit slammed Jass into him.
Kyle - He's one of those rarities - someone who succeeds in entering the Academy, but flunks the actual curriculum. He therefore has the job status of "officer" and works at the Academy, if not as a Neo-Samurai.
Odin Nebuchanezzer - King of the Espers. He is a capable leader, a wise judge, a master swordsman, and secretive about certain ... issues. It's best not to ask about them. He bears the legendary sword, Zantetsuken.
Mog Kupar - A somewhat spunky Esper. He -- she? -- has a sprightly personality and likes to get his/her way. S/he is also wise in many matters you wouldn't think to look at him/her. On the other hand, that is true of almost all Moogles (the form of which Mog has taken).
Don Miguel - The leader of a criminal organization based in Midgar that seems to exceed the skill of the Turks. Not much is known about him, except that "Fobby" is a member of his organization.Yar Kramer's First Reality is hosted on Keenspace, a free webhosting and site automation service for webcomics. All content not already copyrighted by Squaresoft, Enix, Capcom, or whatever else I can come up with to borderline-copyright-infringe, is copyrighted 2001-2003 by Dylan. All your base are belong to us. Bebbies!